


high school musical? in MY groupchat?!

by typical_art_dork



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series, hsmtmts - Fandom
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, F/F, F/M, Gay Panic, Gc Fic, General Chaos, Group chat, M/M, bi disasters, chatfic, it's at 69 comments so if you like this & wanna tell me just send me a message lmaoo, projecting my problems onto characters as a coping mechanism, they have a betting pool on what ej's real name is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:41:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22918621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/typical_art_dork/pseuds/typical_art_dork
Summary: wtf-richard: what's up everyone i'm going to commit diewtf-richard: i've been working on my physics hw,,,, for four hours,,,,,,,,wtf-richard: and earlier today (yesterday?? time is fake) gina texted me "what's up everypony" with no context so it's been A Rough Day to say the leastedmund janthony: 1) Please Go The Fuck To Sleep 3) WHO CHANGED MY USERNAME???nini: Okay, with all due respect,nini: What the fresh hecknini: Ricky, please go to sleep. You can't do this to yourself babe. EJ, I don't know who changed your name but if anything I think it suits you :)bigred: so we're just glossing over "what's up everypony" huh
Relationships: Ashlyn & Big Red, EJ Caswell/Ricky Bowen, Nini Salazar-Roberts/Ricky Bowen, Seb Matthew-Smith/Carlos Rodriguez
Comments: 82
Kudos: 219





	1. EJ Stands For Edmund Janthony

**Author's Note:**

> YALL we got it to 69 comments if one of u neanderthals changes this i will Cry

what team?!, 3:07 a.m. 

wtf-richard: what's up everyone i'm going to commit die

wtf-richard: i've been working on my physics hw,,,, for four hours,,,,,,,,

wtf-richard: and earlier today (yesterday?? time is fake) gina texted me "what's up everypony" with no context so it's been A Rough Day to say the least

edmund janthony: 1) Please Go The Fuck To Sleep 3) WHO CHANGED MY USERNAME???

nini: Okay, with all due respect, 

nini: What the fresh heck

nini: Ricky, please go to sleep. You can't do this to yourself babe. EJ, I don't know who changed your name but if anything I think it suits you :)

bigred: so we're just glossing over "what's up everypony" huh

wtf-richard: hi big red!! :D

bigred: hi ricky! <3

nini: Damn :( I've been replaced,,

wtf-richard: WAIT NO

edmund janthony has changed name to edmund janthony!

edmund janthony: hhWJAT THE FUC& K 

edmund janthony: HHHNNG

kourt: HDJSKSKALJSJ 

kourt: EDMUND JANTHONY

wtf-richard: "fuc&k"

edmund janthony: I KEEP TRYING TO CHANGE IT BUT HSJSJSK IT WON'T LET MEGDHDDJDJ

wtf-richard: nvm i'm no longer upset abt my hw :)))

wtf-richard: this is so good,,,

edmund janthony: WHAT the FUCK

nini has muted the chat!

wtf-richard: lmaooo bye nini!! <3 ily baby

bigred: bye nini!!! :)

edmund janthony has changed name to edmund janthony!

edmund janthony: HHHHHHJK

wtf-richard: i'm crying who changed it?!

farmboy: >:)

farmboy has muted the chat!

kourt: HEJSJKSKS SEB IM CACKLING

edmund janthony: GOD DMAMMIT SEB

edmund janthony: Morally I can't be angry at him but how the hell did he make it impossible to change??!

edmund janthony: What kind of gay witchcraft--

kourt: says the bisexual

bigred: no one can be angry at seb but this,,, is Something

wtf-richard: i'm actually crying there are actual tears in my eyes rn

wtf-richard: ej we love u but this is hilarious

edmund janthony: Every time I look at my username I'm reminded of the fact that I could literally tell you guys what EJ stands for but like. I'm just not going to bc at this point it's out of pure spite. I want the meme to be kept alive.

kourt: oh it def will be

kourt: with a permanent username like that idk how any of us are gonna take you seriously in this gc though lmaooo

wtf-richard: HDJSK I KNOW

wtf-richard: ej- (long, deep, personal vent message at two in the morning)  
all of us in haunting unision- it's alright, edmund janthony. every thing will be ok. 

edmund janthony: Why'd he separate "everything" into two words--

bigred: ricky what 

wtf-richard: I DONT KNOW I ATTEMPTED JOKE

kourt: "i attempted joke" richard bowen please get some sleep you're too much of a baby to stay up this long

bigred: he's baby, your honor

edmund janthony: Never mind that. I want him sent straight to the electric chair. 

wtf-richard: YES FINALLY

kourt: lmao i love that ej turned the meme into a courtroom roleplay?? wow he went there

kourt: & the death penalty? in MY group chat?! 

edmund janthony: Wait Ricky no--

wtf-richard: RICKY YES

kourt: ricky NO

kourt: GO

kourt: TO

kourt: SLEEP

wtf-richard: but i CAN'T

wtf-richard: i STILL have hw to do and i can't wake up early tomorrow to do it bc my mom's visiting again & she and my dad are gonna be fighting in the morning like always and i won't be able to focus

wtf-richard: and i have a free period tmrw but i also have an apush packet to finish and it's just,,, a lot

kourt: oh honey :(

kourt: i'm so sorry. is there any way we can help?? 

wtf-richard: no, it's okay!! go back to sleep guys. sorry for waking everyone up <3

edmund janthony: 1. Don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. 2. I can help you with it, I might still have the same sheet from last year. I keep all my work. 

wtf-richard: i,,,,, thank you so much!! that would be great actually. it's the one on resultant vectors? if you have it?? if not it's totally fine!! 

edmund janthony: Hang on, I'll check.

edmund janthony: physicshw.jpg

edmund janthony: That the one?

wtf-richard: HJSJS YES

edmund janthony: Thank fuck

wtf-richard: THANK YOU EJ I OWE U MY LIFE :'D

kourt: this is soft?? 

edmund janthony: Don't sweat it. Anything for you, dude. 

wtf-richard: i'm going to cry <3

edmund janthony: ...

edmund janthony: <3

kourt: HJSNSNKCK

broadwaybound has unmuted the chat!

nini has unmuted the chat! 

broadwaybound: KOURTNEY JUST TEXTED ME AND NINI AND TOLD US TO UNMUTE THE CHAT AT THREE IN THE DAMN MORNING SO THIS BETTER BE FUCKING WORTH IT

wtf-richard: hi gina :)

nini: kourt just told me ej's Emoting i came as soon as i heard!!!

wtf-richard: wait no go to sleep!!! you have an ap lang test tomorrow nini!!!

nini: EJ SENT YOU A HEART EMOTICON

nini: IM!!!!?!!!!!!!????!!!

bigred: nini.exe has stopped working

broadwaybound: I'm still stuck on "Edmund Janthony" like.... shit lmao

edmund janthony: I will END you.

broadwaybound: Try me bitch :*

nini: EJ

edmund janthony: Here we go... 

nini: YOU FELT EMOTION

edmund janthony: WHY IS THIS A BIG DEAL I???

nini: towards RICKY

edmund janthony: Okay fair

edmund janthony: I felt BAD for him okay? I felt like,,, responsible for him feeling better Ig. Idk it was super weird I do Not recommend. Feeling things. Ever. 

wtf-richard: awwww :')

wtf-richard: he CARES about me

edmund janthony: GHHHHH

broadwaybound: (eyes emoji)

nini: i'm wheezing 

nini: also gina did you just imply what i think you implied?

broadwaybound: (eyes emoji) Maybe so...

edmund janthony: ALRIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH

wtf-richard: when he commands the gc to shut up (heart eyes emoji)

nini: babe!

wtf-richard: WAIT SHIT SORRY NINI <333 ily darling

nini: ily too!!! 

nini: now go the HELL to sleep <3

wtf-richard: yes ma'am 

broadwaybound: Step back I think I'm gonna VOMIT

nini has muted the chat!

wtf-richard has muted the chat!

edmund janthony has changed name to edmund janthony!

edmund janthony: FUCK

\--

a dynamic duo, 6:36 a.m.

ej: I Have A Dilemma

ashlyn: Again????

ej: 1. Wow rude 2. YES and this time it is LETHAL!! 

ashlyn: Damn... that bad, huh??

ej: ,,,,,Yes

ej: Look at the main chat 

ashlyn: ........

ashlyn: I'm--

ashlyn: You like Ricky, don't you?

ej: . 

ashlyn: EJ!

ej: No comment. 

ashlyn: HSHSK W H AT ?! 

\--

what team?!, 7:27 a.m.

nini: why is ricky already asleep on my shoulder class hasn't even started yet i--

kourt: THAT'S ADORABLE AWW

nini: not when he's drooling on my j crew sweater :/ 

edmund janthony: SEB I AM HUNTING YOU DOWN RN 

move-im-gay: WHAT did you just say to my boyfriend?

edmund janthony: HE CHANGED MY NAME TO HSJSJSKK

kourt: to edmund janthony

edmund janthony: YES THAT. He changed it to THAT and now I can't switch it back to EJ without his help.

broadwaybound: This is the only thing going on in this chat that I actually care abt tbh. Well, this and Ricky's Crisis of the Week.

kourt: excuse you, the plot of this gc is nini and ricky's pda and everything else is a subplot

broadwaybound: Damn u right

bigred: hjsjsks gina,,,

ash: I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT MY DAILY POSITIVE MESSAGES :(

ash: SPEAKING OF: EVERYONE HERE IS SO TALENTED AND CAPABLE OF DOING THEIR BEST BUT I WANT Y'ALL TO REMEMBER THAT SELF LOVE SHOULD ALWAYS COME FIRST <333

broadway: Oh shoot I forgot abt those!!! Yes Ash they brighten my days significantly thank u for ur service <333

ash: :') No problem!!!

nini: ricky finally woke up but he's too lazy to pull out his phone (??? bitch,) so i'm reading all these off to him

nini: he says he saw seb in the library ej

edmund janthony: THANK GOD

edmund janthony: THANK YOU RICKY 

nini: he says "of course. anything for my main man edmund janthony"

edmund janthony: NVM FRIENDSHIP REVOKED

ash: Suuuure

kourt: ^ what does that mean lmao?? 

ash: Haha nothing lol! 

\--

pans with a plan, 7:35 a.m.

nini: please tell me you got a Vibe from what ashlyn just said,,,

gina: YES

gina: Do you think,,, EJ,,,,, is on his way to steal ur man?

nini: HHDHSKS GI N A

nini: 1) I can't tell if he likes Ricky yet and I definitely don't want to jump to conclusions but like,?? That interaction was just WEIRD. 2) If he does like Ricky that's okay with me. I GET it lol, a lot of people like him actually and I'm secure enough in our relationship to have stopped getting jealous long before now.

gina: It's funny how you only type correctly when ur serious abt a subject

nini: THAT'S what you got from that???

gina: ... Yes :)

gina: But also I will def continue investigating this matter bc,,,, Tea

nini: thank u <33

gina: Don't mention it!

\--

what team?!, 8:33 a.m.

farmboy has changed edmund janthony's name to ej!

ej: THANK FUCK


	2. Kool-Aid Man Thought Spirals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which nini is stressed, ej lets something slip, and the plot thickens

what team?!, 1:20 a.m.

broadwaybound: Hi everyone :)))))

broadwaybound: Would Richard Dumbass Bowen like to FUCKING explain why SEVEN ALARMS each within five seconds of each other just blared out of my phone :))))))

ej: I didn't have notifs off so this woke me up and honestly I can't bring myself to care because,,,, lmao Ricky w h y 

bigred: shhh he's asleep 

bigred: richard.jpg

broadwaybound: FUCK I can't be mad at him now :')

broadwaybound: I let him use my phone earlier to finish his Algebra II hw and he must've pulled the prank on me then... the fucking disrespect

ej: Reminds me of someone else we know,,,,,, Yes I'm looking at u Seb

farmboy has unmuted the chat!

farmboy: ej i really am sorry!!! i just meant for it to be a one time joke & i had no idea it'd annoy u that much :(

ej: Whoa, it's fine! I was only messing around, we're all good!!!

ej: It irritated me in the moment but looking back on it is hilarious lol

farmboy: :') okay good!!!! thank you for being so understanding!!!! <33

ej: I--

ej: Seb is the only person who can get me to Feel Things ngl I'm about 2 cry,,,

bigred: damn it really is soft hours 

nini: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!

ej: O___O

bigred: i spoke too soon

broadwaybound: Nini are you okay???

nini: N O !!!!!!!!

nini: I HAVEBEEN

nini: TRYINGG TO SLE E P

nini: FOR THE PAST FIVE !!!!!$ HOURS

bigred: "$"

broadwaybound: Not the time, Red

bigred: iknowsorry

nini: AND EVERY TIME

ej: (We touch, I get this feeling--)

nini: I CLOSE MY EYES ,,, ALL I CAN SEE !!!!!!! ! !! !!!

nini: IS THE KOOL AID MAN

broadwaybound: Wait, what?

bigred: wait WAIT RICKY TOLD ME ABOUT THIS,,,

nini: HE TOLD YOU ABOUT MY PHOBIA OF THE KOOL-AID MAN???!!

broadwaybound: Phobia of the,,,

nini: T R E A C H E R Y

ej: 1. Stop typing so loud. 2. Please explain I'm genuinely losing it rn lmao

nini: sorry :( i'm awake bc of stress and when i'm stressed my brain just gravitates towards kool-aid man thought spirals,,,

bigred: k o o l - a i d m a n t h o u g h t s p i r a l s

ej: So you... have a fear of the Kool-Aid Man??? Wh--

nini: more like a repulsion

nini: or just...,,, anxious disgust

broadwaybound: Me looking in the mirror every morning

bigred: GINA NO

broadwaybound: ;) Jk I'm a queen 

ej: So what are you stressed about that's making you all weird?? If you don't mind me asking???

nini: great question! 

nini: I DON'T FREAKING KNOW :')) 

nini: my anxiety has been baddd lately and school's more demanding this semester now that classes have changed,,, it just sucks

nini: sorry i know my problems are small compared to your guys' but like,,, i haven't got more than 5 hours of sleep a night in months

ej: Nini :( I'm so sorry. Pleaseee talk to your moms about it, that's intense. You need to get a good night's sleep every night. 

nini: s i g h

nini: i would but they've been super busy lately and it's never really a convenient time

ej: Hey. They're gonna be there for you no matter the timing. Please talk to them. 

nini: ,,, okay. thank you ej <3

nini: we don't give you enough credit. 

ej: That's Edmund Janthony to you. 

ej: And yes, thanks for noticing I'm criminally underrated. Now get some sleep. 

ej: Tell your moms you need a mental health day tomorrow, too. I'm sick; we can binge-watch Disney movies and catch up on some rest. 

nini: i'm rlly abt to cry,,,,

nini: thank you :') <3

nini: gn everyone!! 

ej: Night Nini :) 

nini has muted the chat!

ej: So I guess everyone else is asleep too... 

ej: I have so much power

ej has changed farmboy's name to prankster!

ej has changed wtf-richard's name to tokenstraight!

ej has changed ash's name to actualangel!

ej has changed broadwaybound's name to dancingqueen!

ej has changed kourt's name to kween!

ej has changed move-im-gay's name to choreographyking!

ej has changed bigred's name to  
clifford!

tokenstraight: HHWJAT IN THE FUCK

ej: Oh, hi Ricky :)

tokenstraight: SLANDER

tokenstraight: YOU INSOLENT WRETCH

ej: I???

tokenstraight: IM B I 

ej: OH????

tokenstraight has changed their name to bibibi! 

ej: I'm sorry dude!! I had no idea!

bibibi: it's fine lmao i was messing with you! 

bibibi: & yeah i forgot but i think you were absent the day i came out to our drama class lol

ej: Ohh, that would make sense, yeah. 

ej: Well, regardless, that's great!! I love & support you!

bibibi: :') yall ej just said he loves me

dancingqueen: I CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD

dancingqueen: I also fell asleep right before Nini went on her lil vent so girl if u see this in the morning just know Ilysm and it's all gonna be okay <4

dancingqueen: FUCK

ej: <4

bibibi: <4

bibibi: wait what happened to nini?!

dancingqueen: Scroll up, Ricky

bibibi: oh shit 

bibibi: shit i was asleep when that happened

bibibi: nini if you see this tomorrow i'm so sorry i wasn't here, i love you so much and everything is gonna be alright. we're all here for you and if you ever need to vent i promise you're not ever being a burden <3

dancingqueen: This bitch really has to one-up me on everything huh :/

ej: I'm--

ej: Feeling Things Again

ej: Don't Like That

dancingqueen: speaking of FEELING THINGS,,,

ej: No no no no no no

dancingqueen: LET'S CIRCLE BACK TO EJ'S DECLARATION OF LOVE

bibibi: ^ YES THAT!!

ej: I'm going to commit arson if y'all don't shut the fuck uP RIGH TNOW

ej: I'm,,,, I 

dancingqueen: Take your time lol

ej: Arson. 

bibibi: ej are u a kleptomaniac??? 

kween: ricky that's someone who compulsively steals things

ej: I can't believe Kourtney just resurrected from The Dead to correct Ricky on his understanding of pyromania

dancingqueen: God is a woman :') Ily Kourtney!

bibibi: hey i was close!! i got the "maniac" part right!!!

kween: he's not wrong ngl

kween: & thank you guys aww :) <3

ej: Soft hours?

dancingqueen: EJ started it bc he confessed his undying love for Ricky

bibibi: ^ya it was really emotional i cried

kween: OH???

ej: They're kidding lmao

kween: OH THANK GOD

ej: hhsjksksks

\--

a dynamic duo, 2:34 a.m.

ej: Ash My Dilemma Has Evolved Into A Catastrophe

ej: Ash

ej: A s h l y n ,,,, I swear to God I'll go wake you up rn if you don't respond

ash: BITCH??? I'm SLEEPING

ash: It's one thing to infodump ur problems on me every day but tHIS,,, is becoming a PROBLEM

ash: I!! AM!!! TIRED!!!!!

ash: But fine I'll help you

ej: :)

ash: Shut up.

ash: Here's what you do:

ash: Watch a lot of The Bachelor and deal like the rest of us.

ej: I ,,, ASHLYN!!?

\--

rickybowen has started a chat with kourtney! 

rickybowen has renamed the chat CRISIS TIME!

rickybowen has changed their name to dumbass-nation!

dumbass-nation: kourtney kourtney kourtney kourtney

kourtney: sir what the fuck is this

dumbass-nation: ummm im have problen

kourtney: i'm going to pretend that was english. is everything okay bud???

dumbass-nation: if everything was ok why would i name this CRISIS TIME

kourtney: fair enough. 

kourtney: so your crisis...? 

dumbass-nation: i think i like nini..... AND ej

kourtney: HhhHh

kourtney: CUT THE CAMERAS DEADASS

\--

what team?!, 2:57 a.m.

clifford: guys???

clifford: is anyone awake....?

clifford: how do i change my name back :(


	3. Ricky Said Stripper Rights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which nini and gina get engaged, ej takes a vacation, and ricky is stupid

what team?!, 10:42 a.m.

bibibi: yo can someone tell me why i just saw gina cram something into nini's locker and then BOLT away 

bibibi: HIGHLY suspicious mrs porter

choreographyking: ricky,,,, "'mrs." is used for married women,,,,,

bibibi: fuck

dancingqueen: FUCK

actualangel: This just in: the bisexual agenda is typing "fuck" in varying levels of panic

ej: Lmao I saw it too!

ej: Gina what did you do??

nini: is it a love letter >:) i knew it

bibibi: babe don't leave me :((

nini: i'm sorry ricky,,, it's just,,,,, you're really stupid sometimes 

nini: yesterday when we thought big red was having a seizure he goes "SHIT WHAT'S THE NUMBER FOR 911"

dancingqueen: HSHSJ BACK UP

ej: You thought Big Red was WHAT

clifford: i was trying to do renegade super fast :( and they thought i was having a seizure :((

actualangel: Hold up, are you on tiktok?

clifford has muted the chat! 

actualangel: Damn he really did that :( 

ej: CAN WE PLEASE CIRCLE BACK TO THE GINA THING

bibibi: ^^^!!!!! 

dancingqueen: If you dumbasses MUST know,,,

dancingqueen: It was a letter of encouragement bc I know Nini's been anxious lately but I had to maintain my facade of cold indifference so I didn't want anyone to know :/ 

bibibi: hi im crying in the club :') <3

ej: That's so sweet what the??

nini: GINA WHERE ARE U I WANNA GIVE U A HUG RN <3333 ILYSM UR THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE

bibibi: im leaving you for ej

nini: FUCKHSFKFK

ej: HHHNNNGGJKK

actualangel: I'm..... 

kween: RICKY

bibibi: lmao yall it was a joke

ej: Thank fuck

actualangel: Whatever helps you sleep at night, Edmund :)

ej has changed actualangel's name to satan!

satan: I... (sighs in bi)

satan: I have an AP Lang test bye lol

nini: GINA I JUST READ IT AND???!!! BITCH MY HEART

dancingqueen: AAAAAA

dancingqueen: MY heart?!!! 

nini: ILY

dancingqueen: ILYT

prankster: soft hours :) <3

ej: I love that Seb only shows up when we're being nice to each other

bibibi: his frequent absence speaks volumes,,,,

nini: hjssjsk ricky

dancingqueen: Everyone be FUCKING nice so Seb stays this time. That's a threat. 

prankster has muted the chat!

bibibi: FUCK

ej: God damn it Gina

dancingqueen: I'M SORRY???! 

nini: the vibes depleted SO quickly :'( 

kween: honestly... also good morning y'all!! how is everyone??

bibibi: can one of yall help me uninstall emotions

ej: That's my specialty ;) 

nini: ej that sounded oddly sexual step off

bibibi: hhsjjskkdks

ej: ANYWAY

ej: I HAVE A CALC TEST BYE YALL 

ej has muted the chat!

bibibi: i-- ??? 

dancingqueen: I think EJ has a crush guys ;))) 

nini: HHHHHH

satan has unmuted the chat!

satan: Nah he's just panicking bc he completely forgot about this test

satan: They're weighted as half of his final grade. It's bullshit

nini: oh no!! ej i'm so sorry :( when u see this i want u to know we love u no matter what ur gpa is & you're gonna do great things no matter what your grade on a stupid test is! 

bibibi: damn it be like that :( 

bibibi: i'm sorry ej,, you're the smartest guy i know so i'm sure you'll do great but if you don't just remember the poles are always an option after high school 

kween: TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE I'M CRYING

satan: RICKY HSJSJK WHAT THE FUCK

dancingqueen: NINI DID A FULL 180 AND RICKY SAID STRIPPER RIGHTS

dancingqueen: I'M TRYING SO HARD NOT TO CRY IN CHEM RN BUT SHIT

bibibi: ;)

nini: im leaving you for gina

bibibi: FUCK NO WAIT

kween: why did nini just rush out of physics in the middle of a lab???

dancingqueen: It's too late BITCH

dancingqueen: niniproposingwithringpop.jpg

nini: i love u baby <333 

dancingqueen: Love u too angel!

bibibi: DAMMIT NINI

bibibi: hey ej ;) 

dancingqueen: He muted the chat you dumb fuck :) <3

nini: where's our honeymoon gonna be babe??

bibibi: HJHHHHHH

dancingqueen: Idk maybe... Paris?

nini: YES <333

satan: Not that I'm not LIVING for this development,,,

satan: But I think EJ is having a literal panic attack and I wanted to know if y'all could mayhaps,,, shut up

satan: He called me a min ago and I couldn't understand him and now I'm Worried

prankster has unmuted the chat!

prankster: he's in my calc class and he just,,, ran out?? idk where he went we're all worried

bibibi: oh fuck

bibibi: i'm so sorry ashlyn

bibibi: i'm leaving class rn meet me outside mrs. baker's psych class pls. i'll help you look. 

satan: Thank you <3

nini: i'll help too!! gimme a sec

\--

rickybowen has created a chat with ej!

rickybowen has changed their name to ricky!

ricky has named the chat "we're scared pls answer"! 

ricky: hey, this is a long shot bc you're not even texting ash but we've been looking for you since third block and we're really scared

ricky: did you leave campus??? 

ricky: ej

ricky: this isn't a game i'm seriously losing my shit

ricky: nini is holding it together but ash has been crying since noon

ricky: our teachers literally think we're skipping please respond

ricky: we love you and care about you

ej: Fuck I'm so sorry I just turned on my phone

ej: I went to the Starbucks a few blocks away

ej: I'm so so sorry fuck 

ej: Hang tight I'm driving back

ej: I just needed to get out for a bit but I lost track of time I'm so sorry

ricky: hey, it's okay

ricky: no more apologizing

ricky: we're just glad you're okay <3

ricky: drive safe ej!! 

ej: I will. Thank you for caring. 

ricky: of course. hard not to. 

\--

what team?!, 1:34 p.m.

bibibi: we have acquired one (1) edmund janthony caswell

satan: favoritecousin.jpg

nini: i'm literally still crying w relief lmao ej whyyy

ej: I'm so sorry I freaked everyone out. I was just freaked over the calc test.

prankster: so glad you're okay!!! the test wasn't bad at all, i can come over sometime this weekend to tutor you for it if you want. since it's a friday you have until next monday to study for the make-up :) <3

ej: That would be great Seb!! Thank you sm!!!! 

prankster: don't mention it :) 

\--

a dynamic duo, 1:56 p.m.

ash: It wasn't all about the test, was it?

ash: You were crying on the phone. You never get that upset about your exams, EJ. And you have a 96 in Calc. 

ej: I'm sorry, I just don't wanna talk about it right now Ash. 

ash: That's fair. Hope you're doing okay bud <3

ash: I'm here when you're ready to talk though. 

\--

best bitches, 2:12 p.m.

nini: kourtney kourtney kourtney

kourt: ??? 

nini: fucking?????? i'm losing my MIND

nini: please promise you won't tell anyone what i'm abt to say

kourt: ?? of course not

kourt: are you okay?!

nini: yeah i'm good i just

nini: today when we couldn't find ej i just

nini: i 

nini: you have to understand i LOVE ricky like i want to spend the rest of my life with him NO question about it 

nini: i just

nini: i think i might also have feelings for ej

kourt: oh

kourt: oh SHIT

\--

what team?!, 4:32 p.m.

bibibi: okay i'm looking over this thread and like

bibibi: what was stupid about "what's the number for 911"???

bibibi: i'm genuinely confused yall


	4. Polynomials and Polyamory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hmmmm

what team?!, 1:02 a.m.

bibibi: HDJDJJ YALL IM SLEEPING OVER AT BIG RED'S AND I JUST WOKE UP TO LIKR BLARING ELECTRONICA GARBAGE MUSIC (???) AND IN MY ADDLED STATE MY FIRST INSTINCT IS JUST TO SCREAM "WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK IS GOING ON" AND THE MUSIC CUTS OFF AND BIG RED'S FUCKINVDHDHDK DAD B O L T S UP THE STAIRS AND HE GOES "RICKY GO BACK TO SLEEP THIS NEVER HAPPENED" AND SO NATUTRALLY I FOLLOW HIM DOWNSTAIRS LIKE THE STEALTHY NINJA I AM AND THIS MAN IS GFJDHJDJ PLAYING JUST DANCE !!!!! BITCH HE WAS GOOD AT IT TOO I WAS FUCKING CRYING

dancingqueen: 1) Go the hell back to sleep Ricky 2) There is.... SO much to unpack about that message......

ej: I'm driving rn and I had Siri read Ricky's message and it was a goddamn rollercoaster I can't stop laughing.

ej: There's nothing quite like a female British robot screaming "what in the everloving fuck is going on"...

bibibi: GHDJDJDJ

bibibi: ALSO EJ WHY ARE YOU DRIVING AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM????? 

ej: Stop yelling holy shit,,

bibibi: sorry i forgot my caps lock was on ;( 

dancingqueen: Why is your frowny face winking?

bibibi: for the ~flavor~ ;D

dancingqueen has muted the chat!

bibibi: FUCK

bibibi: anyway ej why the hell are you driving rn?!!

ej: Burying a body. 

bibibi: HSJSJKSK

ej: Not actually, dumbass.

bibibi: oh :/ boring

bibibi: ???

ej: My parents got back from their business trip and I can't be at home with them right now.

ej: Dad's in a bad mood. It's complicated.

bibibi: oh... wanna come over? 

ej: Uh, I wouldn't wanna intrude. And I thought you were at Red's?

bibibi: nah, i'm skating home rn. i love the guy but his sleep apnea machine & the muffled blaring of just dance downstairs is preventing me from even trying to sleep lol

bibibi: & you wouldn't be intruding at all, you've been over before and this wouldn't be any different. i'm always here for you. 

ej: Hmm I'm Feeling Things again and I'm....... Not A Fan. 

ej: Might have to drop by to yell at you for making me emote, bro. No homo. 

bibibi: please do. i want you to be safe and you shouldn't be out driving right now. 

ej: Ow my heart. 

ej: I'm on my way over. Thank you so much dude.

bibibi: hey, don't mention it. i'm always here and so is everyone else in this chat. 

ej: Hhhh

ej: I Hate Feeling Emotions How Do I Stop

bibibi: just hush and focus on driving. we'll talk about the wonders of emotional repression after you get here safely. 

nini has unmuted the chat!

nini: kourtney's been lurking here the entire time & she literally called me to tell me to look at this & hhhh

nini: i love both of u sm and i hope you're okay ej <333 my doors are always open too if you ever need a place to stay!

bibibi: he just got here & i read ur message to him. he says "thanks"? i think?? it could have been banks, he has his face shoved in a pillow rn because he says there's a "criminal lack" of musical posters in my room,,? 

ej: Nini he's an idiot don't listen to him

ej: Thank you so much <3

nini: lmao no problem! ily <3

nini: i'm gonna go back to bed but i hope everyone sleeps well!!! <333 love you guys!

nini has muted the chat!

bibibi: i love her :') 

ej: Soft hours?

bibibi: no. it's "go the fuck to sleep" hours actually. 

ej: :/ Bad vibes...

bibibi: not as bad as seeing your best friend's dad hit the whoa while soft electronica blares from his flatscreen tv at one in the morning

ej: That seriously traumatized you, didn't it?

bibibi: HE WAS WEEARING FUCKINF WORKOUT CLOTHES EJ

ej: Hmm. Don't Like That.

bibibi: yeah, that's what i thought. now to go sleep.

ej: Ah, the hypocrisy.

bibibi: fine bitch 

bibibi has muted the chat!

ej: ...

ej: Ricky, we're in the same room. I can clearly see you playing Candy Crush rn. Just because you mute the chat doesn't mean you're off your phone. 

ej has muted the chat!

\--

what team?!, 8:17 a.m.

ej: Ricky wake the hell up so I can ask you how your shower works challenge

ej: He's been dead to the world since 3 last night and I can't for the life of me figure out how the handle on his shower works.

ej: I turn it to the right, it's freezing. I turn it to the left, it's boiling. I'm scared to even go near this mechanism at this point. 

nini has unmuted the chat!

nini: his shower sucks, use the guest one across the hall <3 

ej: Yikes okay. Thank you Nini!!

nini: no prob!! if you wanna wake him up soon, coffee always works. they have a cuisinart downstairs, they won't mind if you use it!

ej: Ooh okay, I'll be sure to do that lol. Thanks again! <3

nini: don't mention it <3 if you guys are staying home today (which i'm assuming you are since it's already second block) i can come over for a bit! school is getting super boring without your chaotic influence.

ej: I'll ask Ricky once he comes back to life.

nini: thanks!! <3 

clifford: good mythical morning!!!

kween: i'm killing big red on sight today for that

clifford: go ahead :)

bibibi: EJ IS SINGING IN THE SHOWER YALL

bibibi: icarlythemesong???.mov

bibibi: I DONT KNOW WHY THIS IS WHAT HES SINGING BUT IT FUCKING IS??????

nini: i--

nini: jesus christ

kween: yes bitch!! hit those notes!!!

choreographyking has unmuted the chat! 

choreographyking: WHY IS HE DOING ACTUAL KARAOKE W TYE BACKGROUND MUSIC AND EVERYTHING IM SCREAMING

choreographyking: EJ WHAT

bibibi: also YES NINI PLS COME OVER I MISS U <333

nini: AWW IM OTW <3

satan: GUYS okay so I've been painting w acrylics for the past hour & I got paint on my carpet & the only cleaning supplies I had in my room were clorox wipes & somehow I forgot that shit has like.... dangerous chemicals & bleach in it so I was calmly sitting on my floor squeezing the chemicals from the wipes into the carpet & wondering why my hands were burning :'))) 

ej: Just got out of the shower & I DO WHAT I WANT RICKY

ej: Also ASH that's so bad please wash your hands!!!

ej has changed satan's name to accidentprone!

accidentprone: Thanks EJ :')) 

ej: I Live To Serve

bibibi: he was serving straight BARS w that shower karaoke ;) 

ej: Kill Ricky On Sight Challenge

bibibi: hhhh NO

nini: RICHARD BOWEN OPEN THE DOOR I'VE BEEN KNOCKING FOR FIVE MINUTES

bibibi: RIGHT SORRY!!! 

nini: :) <333 tysm babe

dancingqueen: nini's mood swings give me whiplash...

nini: >:O

dancingqueen: kidding kidding!!! 

bibibi: gf? acquired. wiisports? activated. ej? making us breakfast he's too pure for this world :') <3

ej: Ew Feelings

kween: ...

kween: richard your gay is showing

bibibi: HHHHHH

choreographyking: ah yes,,, tranquil domesticity,,,,, a feeling i will Never Know

accidentprone: HHH CARLOS--

clifford: DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT A POLYNOMIAL IS I HAVE A POP QUIZ IN THREE MINUTES

bibibi: wafflesandhotpeople.jpg

accidentprone: AWWW!!

accidentprone: Did EJ and Nina get in a waffle batter battle?? It's in her hair I'm dying in pre-calc rn,,

ej: Yes lmao

ej: And I Won ;)

nini: L I E S 

bibibi: simmer down folks

nini: does ricky bowen is country??

clifford: G U Y S

clifford: POLYNOMIALS? ANYONE???

bibibi: sorry man,, i slept thru most of algebra II :( 

nini: math is illegal

dancingqueen: nini raises an EXCELLENT point! 

nini: thanks wifey!! :) <3

ej: Don't worry Ricky, I still love u even if Nini's moved on. 

bibibi: HHHDSKSJGK

accidentprone: This just in: bi disaster Richard Bowen found dead in Salt Lake City!

bibibi: ASHLYN 

kween: wait, does she know too?!

bibibi: HJSHSJS KOURTNEY NO!!

accidentprone: Know what? 

accidentprone: Ricky????

dancingqueen: OH SHIT OH SHIT

kween: HHHHHHH

nini: i have No Idea what's happening lmao

nini: i'm living for the drama

ej: I......

ej: Hmm. 

bibibi has muted the chat!

ej: For anyone wondering, Nini and I have been in the kitchen this whole time while Ricky's been upstairs doing his stupid hair & we just heard him bolt downstairs and run out the front door,,, What Does It Mean

dancingqueen: y'all activated his fight or flight response lmaoo

ej: Ash* did....

ej: This just in: Ashlyn Caswell indirectly kills Richard Bowen. Possible Biphobia??? Local Sources Say Yes, 

accidentprone: Kourtney started the chaos.... 

kween: I'M SORRY!! 

nini: okay okay but WHAT DID U MEAN

nini: ??? kourt

kween: i'm sworn to secrecy

ej: HWHAT

dancingqueen: guys,,,, it's kinda obvious

dancingqueen: i mean... context clues?

bibibi has unmuted the chat!

bibibi: can we PLEASE change the subject

nini: no??? 

ej: I'm intrigued though. 

accidentprone: HHHH

accidentprone: OKAY OKAY CAN I SAY SOMETHING

ej: N O 

kween: can III SAY SOMETHING

bibibi: ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!

nini: N O 

ej: Wait WHAT

ej: So Nini AND Ricky confided in Kourtney... W h a t--

bibibi: i hate this

bibibi: alright okay i'm just gonna say it

dancingqueen: FUCKING FINALLY

prankster has unmuted the chat!

choreographyking: go ahead, we're alllll listening

bibibi: Oh God Oh Fuck

clifford: done w my quiz everyone!!! what'd i miss?? 

nini: .......... ,

bibibi: i look at nini my heart goes whoosh i look at ej my heart ALSO goes whoosh in conclusion im ??? 

bibibi: i am love both of them?! wild

dancingqueen: HHJSJSKS RICKY

accidentprone: Of COURSE that's how he would phrase it I'm in actual tears rn

ej: UM !!!!!! SAME

bibibi: HHHWHWFSG

nini: ,,,, me three? 

ej: IM LOSING MY MIND RN

ej: I?????!!! 

accidentprone: Wow.... WOW

accidentprone: EJ I knew you liked Ricky but,,,, WOW

ej: Wait are you mad at me?!

accidentprone: Oh God no!!! I was just in shock lmao nooo

ej: Oh thank God 

ej: My heart DROPPED

nini: ej nooo omg

nini: also RICHARD BOWEN SKATE YOUR ASS BACK TO YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW

nini: WE WANT TO HUG YOU IMMEDIATELY

bibibi: IM CRYING WHATTHEFUC JHDJDHSHSJ

bibibi: ????? MY BRAIN IS MELTING RN TRYING TO PROCESS THIS

clifford: i missed a lot,,,

kween: GHEJDJ BIG RED HOW WAS YOUR QUIZ

clifford: TERRIBLE thanks for asking!! 

nini: wehughim.jpg

dancingqueen: FI NA LLY 

kween: damn does this mean even more pda in the gc because if so i might have to exit stage left

dancingqueen: HHDJSJK KOURTNEY--

ej: I Am Feeling Things Again But It's Not Horrible I Guess

accidentprone: He's crying isn't he?

nini: yes :') <3


	5. Soft Gina: the Rarest Cryptid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> are there hurricanes in slc?? i have no idea. do i care enough to alter my gc fic plotline??? no lol

what team?!, 3:18 a.m.

bibibi: did yall know you can get drunk off of mouthwash >:)

nini: 1) honey please go to sleep, you can't keep texting us at hours like this I'm actually squinting rn bc of the sleep in my eyes

nini: 2) what the fuck did you do

dancingqueen: GHDJSJD RICKY JUST TEXTED ME A VIDEO OF HIMSELF CHUGGING HALF A CUP OF MOUTHWASH I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CRY??? 

nini: R I C N Y

ej: "Ricny"

ej: Also What The Hell Ricky I'm-- 

bibibi: IM SORRY

bibibi: I KEEP GETTING BORED :( ITS NOT MY FAULT!!

dancingqueen: It literally is though. You chugged the mouthwash of your own accord,,

ej: She makes a compelling point.

bibibi: UMM

bibibi: MY STOMACH HURTS NOW IS THAT BAD

nini: HHDHSKS BABY??!

dancingqueen: holy shit ricky take a WILD GUESS

ej: Wait that sounds really really bad. How much of it did you drink babe???

bibibi: oh no lmao

dancingqueen: HDJSJK ej- you could die 

ricky- lmao

IM SOBBING???

bibibi: like half of a small cup??? not a LOT a lot but like. a good amount?

bibibi: a moderate amount.

dancingqueen: thanks ricky for telling us literally nothing

bibibi: ur welcome gina :) 

ej: Does your stomach hurt... Bad?

dancingqueen: i'm losing my actual shit ej i-- 

dancingqueen: ricky- (could actually be dying of toxic chemicals rn) 

ej- but is it BAD?? 

nini: THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER???!!!! 

bibibi: IT'S NOT BAD 

bibibi: it's just weird ig,, like i feel fine otherwise??

ej: Okay. Then you're probably fine. I'm still coming over though.

nini: honey it's three in the morning you can't drive rn 

ej: Time is fake. The government created the concept as another tactic to imprison humanity. 

bibibi: ghhdhsjkd

ej: I'll be safe. Just go back to sleep guys. Love you Neens <3

nini: hhh fine,, love you too ej! <3

bibibi: :'(

nini: and you of course <333 stop doing dumb stuff pls you're taking actual years off my lifespan honey

bibibi: sigh i'll try <3 gn lovely

bibibi: & thank you ej!!!! ilysm!!!!

dancingqueen: "time is fake" ok mr. "IM GONNA BE LATE FOR CLASSS stop HARASSING MEEEE"

ej: I refuse to indulge ur behavior Ms. Porter. I am DRIVING right now. The AUDACTIY. 

bibibi: translation- shut the fuck up

dancingqueen: ...

dancingqueen: audactiy? 

bibibi: hes DRIVING gina >:( 

choreographyking has unmuted the chat!

choreographyking: hey quick question :)))

dancingqueen: ricky run

ej: Richard Bowen open the fucking window or I swear to God--

choreographyking: can ricky stop doing CHAOTIC SHIT that constitutes messaging this chat at three in the freaking morning??? PLEASE??? sebbie and i can't even have cute gay sleepovers anymore bc yall wake us from our peaceful fucking slumber. this has been a psa <3 ricky ily but Stop!!!!!! ! b

dancingqueen: the one b is sending me--

bibibi: hshsjsk sorry carlos & seb!! i've just been super bored lately & sleep eludes me every miserable night so i fill the void w Stupidity

dancingqueen: 1) relatable 2) are you okay ricky omg???

choreographyking: oh no???? ricky are you good :( 

ej: Sweetheart, Love of my life,, Wind beneath my wings,,, 

dancingqueen: is this going somewhere??

bibibi: HHDJSNNSJ

ej: Angel,,,,

ej: I AM STANDING OUTSIDE YOUR FUCKING WINDOW AND IF YOU DON'T LET ME IN I AM GOING TO CATCH HYPOTHERMIA 

dancingqueen: me when the heat went out during rehearsals that one time

bibibi: HHSJSK I FORGOT IM SO SORRY BABE

bibibi: and also gina PLWASE dont remind me those were Truly Dark Times..,,,,

dancingqueen: ....

dancingqueen: plwase

bibibi: HDJDJK EJ ALMOST FELL CLIMBING UP TO THE WINDOW I'M HJSJSJSK

dancingqueen: FUCK IS HE OKAY?!

bibibi: YES YES HE'S FINE 

bibibi: daredevil.jpg

dancingqueen: oh lmao what an idiot

ej: Love how Gina IMMEDIATELY backpedals every time she exhibits the slightest hint of affection for me.... hmmm

bibibi: soft gina exists and this is proof

dancingqueen has muted the chat!

bibibi: dammit :(

ej: And just as quickly as she appeared, she was gone. Forever in our hearts. 

bibibi: I Love Gina Porter,,,,, gona we're sorry!!! 

ej: HEJDKSK "GONA" I--

bibibi: STOPPPP

\--

what team?!, 5:30 a.m.

nini: rise and shine!!! 

bibibi: baby,,, sweetheart,,,, darling,,,,

bibibi: THIS IS AN UNGODLY HOUR

ej: The hypocrisy..... 

bibibi: no. NO. NOT the same thing ej!!!

bibibi: iiii stay up LATE. nini,,,, wakes up UNHEALTHILY EARLY

ej: And how are those two things different, exactly? 

bibibi: oh,,,, uh

bibibi: they-- ?? 

ej: I rest my case. 

nini: ilysm ej!!! <3

bibibi: >:O

nini: AND YOU <333 

bibibi: <:)

ej: Babe what the fuck is that,,

bibibi: don't question it :) 

clifford has unmuted the chat!

clifford: GUYS

bibibi: BIG RED

clifford: i had this dream  
that miss jenn wouldn't let us go out  
the door at the end of rehearsals until she said we could & that we had to stay overnight a ton of times until finally we discovered a way to distort the space-time continuum and teleport outside

dancingqueen has unmuted the chat!

dancingqueen: why didn't we just... use a window?

satan has unmuted the chat! 

nini has changed satan's name to irl-merida! 

irl-merida: 1) I LOVE IT

irl-merida: 2) As much as I love Big Red, Gina's right,,,

clifford: what? you critiquing my dreams?? my subconscious creations. the fucking,,, chemicals in my brain that i have no control over! do you scorn the thunder for cracking off-tempo? the rain for falling off-beat?! i dare you to spend a solid second confined to my mental prison. 

bibibi: i'm scared

ej: The fluctuation in his punctuation is genuinely alarming,,,

irl-merida: THAT'S your takeaway?!

ej: ....Yes?? 

choreographyking has unmuted the chat!

choreographyking: GUESS FREAKING WHAT

nini: ????!!!! 

ej: What?

dancingqueen: ???

bibibi: vanessa hudgens is visiting us? 

choreographyking: HHSJSK RICKY NO,

nini: GO ON???

choreographking: SCHOOL IS CANCELLED FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK BC WE HAVE THE TORNADO WARNING MY DAD IS ON THE SCHOOL BOARD & HE TOLD ME 

bibibi: thank GOD

ej: HSJSJSK

ej: THANK FUCK

dancingqueen: yyyEEEESSSSS

nini: no apush test for me???!!!! a dream come true,,,

nini: wait wait is anyone here evacuating?

choreographyking: nope! 

bibibi: nah, i'm here for a good time not a long time ;)

ej: 1) No lol 2) Ricky hush <3

irl-merida: ^^ 

clifford: we're staying!!

nini: sooo,,, what i'm hearing is,,,,

nini: you guys all wanna spend the night & throw a hurricane party on friday?! 

bibibi: 100%!!! 

ej: YES YES YES

dancingqueen: i'll finally get to meet your moms!!! yes!!!!

choreographyking: nini stays having the best ideas :') seb and i will be there!!

prankster has unmuted the chat!

prankster: i came as soon as i heard! :D

nini: Y E S


	6. Quarantined Queens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im bored im bored im bored im bored im bored stream kid krow by conan gray im  
> bored im bored im bored im bored

what team?!, 12:03 p.m.

nini: well, that plan died fast...

bibibi: us thinking we were gonna get to have an actual party was PEAK clownery

bibibi: guys i've literally been staring at my bedroom walls for the past hour i need serious help dhsjsj

dancingqueen: i actually don't even really mind the isolation... i just hate the idea of getting sick. 

choreographyking: Me and Seb are staying in his parents' remote log cabin but we have Netflix and reception it's so cute <333

nini: aww i'm jealous omg!!

dancingqueen: One day, love <3

nini: i know my queen <3 

bibibi: HJSSKKS

ej: As much as I'm here for terrorizing Ricky, 

bibibi: E J ??!!!

prankster: screenshotted >:)

choreographyking: Trouble in paradise? 

ej: "My queen"??? Nini sweetheart What Are You Doing

choreographyking: I laughed at it ngl

nini: it was a JOKE!!! betrayed by my own lover....

ej: Oh my God

bibibi has changed the chat name to 'betrayed by my own lover'

bibibi: my bi ass watching nini and ej date last semester

nini: HHSJSK BABY,,,!!

ej: I spit out my capri sun Ricky--

prankster: ej you drink capri suns???

ej: Yes and What About It

prankster: i.... hmm. 

bibibi: that's attractive

nini: honey no it's not 

ej: NINI

bibibi: it's cute nini u know it is!!

ej: Ricky ilysm <3 Don't ever change

nini: i mean,,, ej ily but it's Not babe

dancingqueen: ricky when ej does literally anything- 🥰  
nini- 😕

prankster: GINA HHSJSNK

nini: hey NOT TRUE!!

choreographyking: Nini I'll take ur place!!

prankster: WHAT

choreographyking: HSHSJ I'M KIDDING SEB <3

ej: 1) I can't believe Carlos is secretly in love with me?? 2) I'm slowly going insane in my house oh my God

ej: My parents just stay holed up in their offices and they only come out to turn on the news :/ 

bibibi: i'm sorryy ej :(( you know nini and i would be there if we could <3

nini: aww babe, i'm so sorry. we'll facetime once i finish my physics test, okay? <3 love both of you so much! 

ej: Thank you guys :')

choreographyking: 1) EJ I'm so sorry, your parents sound like jerks and we're all here for you. We can all do a group FaceTime tomorrow!! 2) You and Ricky and Nini are Sickening please start a private chat for the fluffy shit I can't--

dancingqueen: HJDJSKS CARLOS

dancingqueen: TRULY THE DUALITY OF MAN I'M CRYING,,

choreographyking: Idk what that means but I'm taking it as an insult >:/

dancingqueen: good. 

kween: ej my good sir i'm so sorry, you're a king and you don't deserve that shit <3 love u bud

dancingqueen: ^^i'll drink to that. you know i'd kill for u right?

ej: Lmao thank you guys!! Also Gina what?

dancingqueen: i would, if given the opportunity, slaughter a bitch for you

nini: "IF GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY" I---

kween: gina is dedicated oh lordt

clifford: hey yall B) 

bibibi: please stop talking

clifford: ricky just texted me, and i quote,,,

clifford: "am i in love with our entire friend group or do i JUST constantly mistake romantic feelings for platonic ones just kidding please disregard this"

nini: HEJSJSK SWEETHEART WHAT

bibibi: I WAS JOKING IT WAS A PRANK

choreographyking: If Ricky likes me I call dibs

ej: You call WHAT

prankster: ^^ SIR EXPLAIN

bibibi: CARLOS WHAT?! 

nini: no no no mister! 

nini: you don't get to "WHAT" carlos when you started this tomfoolery! 

ej: "MISTER" I'M--

dancingqueen: tOMfOoLeRy

bibibi: look what you did big red

bibibi: the gay chat, in SHAMBLES

clifford: i!! am!! sorry!!!! i was BORED

bibibi: ALL OF US ARE BORED

prankster: no but seriously carlos explain

nini: HSJSJ SEB <3

choreographyking: I'M SO SORRY HDJDJDJ I WAS KIDDING BABY YOU KNOW I ONLY HAVE EYES FOR YOU <333

prankster: ,,, apology accepted <3

nini: first time i've ever seen carlos keyboard smash... he must rlly love u sebbie 

bibibi: if i keyboard smash enough will ej love me back

nini: maybe!! try the lowest row! 

bibibi: bxnnzmxnxbzvznzmz

ej: Please Stop I Swear To God Ricky

dancingqueen: He really do be capitalizing words for emphasis doe

nini: ^^she's the only one for me she's the only one for me she's the only one for me she's th

kween: did ricky kill her?? 

bibibi: NO!!! y'all know i support her side-fling with gina!!

nini: and that's why we work babe <3

dancingqueen: GEJSNSKSK 

ej: I,,,,, am concerned

ej: Also Ashlyn is a huge germaphobe so this whole virus thing is really getting to her and she hasn't touched her phone all day should I be worried??

bibibi: GJSSK BABY YES

bibibi: CHECK ON ASH <3

nini: ^^ !! make sure she's okay babe

choreographyking: Shit I didn't even think about Ash,, she mentioned her anxiety problems to me once but I didn't know they were linked to germs?? Poor baby omg

ej: She's fine, just curled up with a book. She refuses to touch her phone ("Do you KNOW how many germs live on that surface EJ?!" Lord beer me strength) but she says thank you guys for your concern!! 

nini: what a sweetheart i love her sm :') <3

bibibi: thank god

bibibi: as long as my favorite member of this friend group is happy, im happy

nini: 1) exCUSE 2) alright valid, ashlyn's the best

choreographyking: ^^Duality of man!

dancingqueen: now he's getting it!!

ej: Character development we love to see it!!

nini: all of us @ mr. mazzarra

bibibi: ACCURATE

prankster: i love that man sm :') <3

ej: Seb is so pure we don't deserve him,,,

ej: Mr. Mazzarra yelled at me for stealing the panini press from the teachers' lounge so we kinda have some beef,,, 

nini: he yelled at you for stealing the WHAT

dancingqueen: So much to unpack,, the fact that u snuck into the teacher's lounge with the intent to STEAL a PANINI PRESS,,, the fact that Mazarra CAUGHT you,,,, the use of the word "beef",,,, what???

nini: baby pls explain

bibibi: THEY AHVE A PANINI PRESS IN THE TEACGERS LOUNGE??!!,

nini: lmao you gave ricky a stroke

kween: "AHVE" also ej what?! 

ej: 1) One of my water polo buddies saw it once because Coach had him go get coffee from the teachers' lounge and so he dared me to try to steal it for after practice snacks 2) Mazzarra is sketchy he followed me in there for No Reason,,, I'm telling you guys he has it out for me 3) Don't question my slang, Miss "what's up everypony"

dancingqueen: I STAND by what I said.

nini: omg a powerful woman <3 take no shit baby!!

ej: I--

bibibi: i still remenber,,, when she ysed to call US baby :'(

kween: "remenber",,,, "ysed",,,,, is ricky okay???

nini: hdhdjsks sweetie no i'm sorry!! 

ej: Carlos you can have him. He's illiterate. 

bibibi: HHSJSJ NO

nini: ......

choreographyking: ExCUSE

bibibi: WAIT NO that wasnt a dig at carlos!!!! ily Platonically!!!!! 

prankster: can't relate!

bibibi: i'm sorry carlos :( 

ej: Honey, he's joking. 

kween: i love how ricky's typing just devolves as our convos go on

kween: feels good feels organic

nini: i love my illiterate bby <333

bibibi: at least Someone in this household appreciates me >:/


	7. Bi-zygous Flight Instincts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (to the tune of The Final Countdown): it's a mental brEAKDOWN

what team?!, 1:03 p.m.

nini: what's up guys i'm crying again

ej: Baby nooo

nini: i'm soRRY i just MISS EVERYONE 

bibibi: samehere.jpg

nini: FUCK HONEY STOP CRYING!!

ej: Nini stop cursing it's unnatural coming from you and it's Deeply Unsettling--

nini: F U C K 

bibibi: I cAnT stOP cRYIN G YoU MADE!!! ME CRY,,,

nini: NOOO <3

ej: I need an aspirin just from reading these, guys please calm down I'm--

nini: but babe we live for the drama!!

bibibi: the DRAMA, ej!!!!

dancingqueen: Hey quick question-- do y'all ever shut the hell up?

bibibi: ah yes, i missed her constant degradation <3 :') hi gona!!! 

dancingqueen: Die. 

nini: HNHHHHG

choreographyking: Lmaoo what Gina said is me @ the Tr*mp supporters in my second period,,,

ej: It's okay Carlos you can say my former water polo friends

choreographyking: HJSJSKS EJ

kween: i'm facetiming nini rn and she's making peace signs at the camera while bawling her eyes out should i be concerned?? 

ej: Hey Gina you can have her :)

dancingqueen: HDJDJK

kween: oh god

dancingqueen: FINALLY IVE EARNED HIS BELESSING,,,

bibibi: belessing?

nini: she means blessing sweetheart <3

nini: also im leaving you <3

choreographyking: HJDBSK I SPIT OUT MY COFFEE

dancingqueen: Guys Nini and I are official now :') After 84 Years,,,

nini: babe when are we tying the knot??? <3

dancingqueen: I want a spring wedding <3

nini: anything for u my queen! 

ej: Never mind blessing revoked, if I have to read any more of this I'll have no choice but to fling myself into a vat of oil.

irl-merida: And that's the vibe!

nini: ASHLYNNN <3 ILYSM

bibibi: ASH WEMISSEDYOUUU 

irl-merida: Aww yay!! I missed you guys too. I finally disinfected my phone today so in the wise words of Richard Bowen, "fuck it I'm rejoining the group chat"! 

nini: I C O N I C

bibibi: WHY DO YOU BRING UP MY DARK PAST,,,,,

choreographyking: That was the PRIME of our chatting days,,, when Ricky left the chat after EJ made that """joke""" about liking guys??? And then tried to backpedal and said he left bc he didn't want his mom to see the "gay agenda" in his texts,,, fucking *chef's kiss*

dancingqueen: HHNDBDK I REMEMBER THAT SO VIVIDLY FUCK

ej: Oh my GOD

bibibi: ST O PPPPP

nini: i remember being so concerned lmao

nini: carlos- i'm gay for one man only, and that's barack obama

ej- can't relate!  
ej- i'm gay for multiple men ;)

ricky- (instantly leaves the chat)

nini: simpler times...,

bibibi: I PANICKED 

ej: We know babe lmao

bibibi: my brain really said *caveman noises* and my first instinct was to just remove myself from the situation

dancingqueen: Ricky's flight instincts are truly stronger than any U.S. marine,, y'all remember when he accidentally made a bi joke in biology last year & before anyone could say anything just,,, ran to the nearest window and threw himself out?

ej: He did WHAT

bibibi: HHDNDJ IT WAS ON THE FIRST FLOOR

irl-merida: I REMEMBER HEARING ABOUT THAT OH MY GOD,,,

ej: Jesus Christ Ricky

nini: HSNSNSH GINA THE DARK AGES LMAOOO

nini: when he did that i literally SCREAMED

dancingqueen: mr. watson- there's homozygous and heterozygous species, and--

ricky, cutting him off really fucking loudly in a dead silent room: haha what about BI-zygous? closeted bis rise up! 

bibibi: I HAD NO IDEA I SAID IT ALOUD UNTIL NINI STARTED LAUGHING QUIETLY 

nini: I COULDN'T HELP IT IT WAS SO FUNNY,, not the joke but the fact that NO ONE LAUGHED & you had NO IDEA YOU'D SAID IT,,, i could tell by the look on ur face lmao

ej: HHSNSJSK I'M LOSING MY MIND

dancingqueen: & !!! then watson goes "um. so there are two types of species--" and ricky's face goes beet red bc he realizes what he did and he just. stAND S UP AND RUNS TO THE NEAREST WINDOW

choreographyking: SEB AND I ARE CRYING READING THIS I WISH WE'D BEEN IN YOUR CLASS

dancingqueen: AND EVERYONE'S LIKE "RICKY NO" and he fucKING,,,, JUMPS OUT 

nini: i actually yelled lmao

ej: I'm,,, Ricky please don't ever do that again I,,,,, 

ej: You have NO sense of self-preservation I'm dying

irl-merida: I'M LAUGHING SO HARD I MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH

bibibi: i cant believe,,,,,, my own FRIENDS

nini: you're so dramatic ily lmao

bibibi: woULD BETR A Y ME LIKE THIS

ej: This friend group is BUILT on betrayal, Ricky. 

irl-merida: ^F a c t s

dancingqueen: Lmao remember when my wife and I were at literal war with each other?? First semester was wild guys,,,

ej: All that time dating Nini when I could have been dating Nini AND her ex...... God I Was Stupid

nini: r u saying i wasn't enough for u >:/ 

clifford: RUN EJ RUN

bibibi: big red!!!!!

clifford: ricky!!!!!

choreographyking: Get a room!!!!!

nini: HSNSHJS CARLOS

prankster: ^^babe that was uncalled for :/ 

kween: call him the fuck out seb <3

choreographyking: can we bring back "betrayed by my own lover" bc damn

bibibi: GUYS MR. ASTLEY JUST PUT MY ALGEBRA II TEST GRADE IN AND

bibibi: I FORGOT TO TAKE THE TEST GUYS

bibibi: AND SO NOW,,,, IM FAILING

nini: R I C H A R D B O W E N 

irl-merida: Oh no Ricky--

nini: HOW DO YOU FORGET TO TAKE AN EXAM

ej: Nini gives me anxiety when she yells in the chat,,, cursed energy honestly

kween: ^^girl please calm yourself

nini: N O

ej: Ricky are you okay??? I'm really sorry! 

bibibi: i'm straight up Not having a good time rn

ej: I'm sorryyy <3

choreographyking: No no yell at him more

irl-merida: Carlos?! I--

choreographyking: KIDDING kidding I'm sorry Rochard

kween: "rochard" i'm in tears

bibibi: honestly i expected even less of myself so (shrug) 

bibibi: but still that shit hurted

bibibi: my dad just got the grade notification on his phone time 2 barricade my door so he can't yell at me lol

ej: I Want To Hug You <3

nini: I AM,,,, LIVID

kween: nini???

nini: okay that was a Slight Exaggeration

nini: i'm,,,

bibibi: dont say it dont say it

nini: moderately disappointed in him

bibibi: FUCK

dancingqueen: I've never had a missing grade. Conclusion: Nini should date me instead. 

ej: This entire chat is one punch to the stomach after another can we slow down

dancingqueen: No. 

ej: ...Okay...

nini: ricky you'd be doing so much better in school if u simply,,, applied yourself more?? ilysm and i know things are hard rn but honey. keep up with stuff. i don't like seeing you fail. 

bibibi: ow 

ej: Give him a break rn Neens. I get where you're coming from, but that was... maybe a little harsh?? 

bibibi: i love one (1) boy thank u ej :')

ej: <333

nini: rage consumes me.....

choreographyking: The vibes have depleted So Fast,,,, never in my life have I watched chaos crumble quicker 

dancingqueen: ^^^dude that last part?? fucking BARS

kween: carlos should write a song!!! also yes ricky we all love u and support u no matter what your grades are <3 you'll get it back up, it's okay!!! 

bibibi: nini i'm sorry

ej: You don't owe anyone an apology??? Ricky

nini: wait no i didn't mean to be rude

nini: shit

nini: i'm sorry ricky, i love you and i just got frustrated because i know you're super smart and capable!!! i guess i just get irritated when other people don't seem to care as much as i do about doing well

bibibi: but i do care though!!!

bibibi: i just forgot 

bibibi: i keep forgetting and then my grades drop and then my parents yell at me and then i feel like a failure and then i forget about more things because i keep living in this "i'm not good enough" place where i feel like even if i tried i wouldn't do well and i don't even know what my gpa is and everyone else is talking about college and ap courses while i'm struggling in classes that are grade-level and it sucks and i'm sorry

bibibi has muted the chat!

ej: Oh no

nini: shit shit shit

irl-merida: ...Yikes. Nini, that wasn't entirely your fault but I think we should all give him some space right now. 

ej: ^^He'll be okay. I'm gonna call him later but for now let's just move on. 

nini: but i upset him!!

nini: i can't just leave him alone to panic after i said all that,,,

ej: Nini. Just let him breathe and call him tonight. It's okay. 

ej: He's had that bottled up for a while and now he needs space. 

nini: you don't know that though!! he could be crying right now and i can't let him stay upset about this because i was wrong! 

ej: Nini. Give it a couple of hours, it's okay!

nini: i feel sick. i hate upsetting him ej

choreographyking: Nini you didn't upset him all on your own, he's been internalizing all that for a while. Are you okay hon??? 

nini: i don't kno w w

nini: i feel so gross

nini: i just want to go back to my therapist but i can't talk to my moms about it because they get all weird and think i'm having a breakdown when really i just need someone to vent to

ej: I'm so sorry, Nini. You and Ricky are obviously Not in the best place right now so maybe unplug for a bit? Watch a movie or draw or sing. Just spend some time away from school and your phone <3 I'll call you and Ricky later tonight. 

nini: okay,,, i'm sorry guys

kween: girl it's fine!! self-care is important, esp right now <3 we love u and ur a badass!

dancingqueen: ^^ !!! Facts. I love you and Ricky sm and you guys need a self-care day! 

nini: :') thank u bestie & wifey

bibibi has unmuted the chat!

bibibi: OKAY okay im good now and ive been reading everything and nini ilysm and i'm sorry if i overreacted!!! i know you're just really stressed and i'm here for you always always always <333 

nini: RICKY BOWEN DO NOT MAKE ME CRY

kween: MY KING OMG <3

ej: Hey I'm Feeling Emotions Make It Stop

choreographyking: This is SOFT why are y'all so fuckin GROSS

prankster: :'( 

choreography: I'm messing with them honey!! <3

prankster: oh!! <3 :) okay haha

choreography: Also Gina saying she loves Ricky is The Cutest Shit Ive Ever Seen

dancingqueen: I NEVER SAID THTA

bibibi: 1) yes u did :) 2) thta

nini: THE VIBES,,,, they're back :')

ej: Okay fine. Fine. Thirty more minutes of phone time JUST BECAUSE I want to maintain this energy.

nini: you're not my fucking dad ej i'm literally this close to ripping out your spleen

bibibi: HNDBSGSJ NINI

dancingqueen: THAT'S MY GIRL LMAOOO

choreographyking: Nini's mood swings are giving us whiplash even in quarantine,,, Her Power :o 

bibibi: i wish i has just one SHRED of her influence,,, damn

ej: "I wish I has" baby go to sleep

bibibi: it's 2 in the afternoon--

nini: you're not his DAD ej

bibibi: ^^yeah that too!!!!

irl-merida: I leave for twenty minutes and they're already back on their bullshit?

ej: Yes :'/ Help me.

nini: god is dead there is no hope for you here

bibibi: ^^me having a crush on nini and ej first semester

ej: HNDBSJSJ 

clifford: i hate this family :(


	8. Nini's Impulsive Haircut

what team?!, 12:57 a.m.

irl-merida: Due to personal reasons I will be binge-watching The Office until quarantine is over.

bibibi: 1) why r u AWAKE 2) ,,,valid 

nini: if i get a notif past midnight from one more person i swear,,, you guys concern me so much

clifford: ricky you can't yell at ashlyn for being up when you responded to her text IMMEDIATELY i'm--

nini: ^^TRUE

nini: The Hypocrisy...... The Lies.......

bibibi: s t o p the abuse 

irl-merida: Sleep evades me yet again. God is dead. Society is in shambles. I just saw EJ walk into the kitchen and take the shredded cheese out of our fridge & now he's sitting on the counter eating it,,, unbeknownst to me sitting in the living room watching him. I'm revolted. 

bibibi: HJSJSJK EJ

nini: i'm in love with two idiots someone help???

bibibi: how am i an idiot :(

dancingqueen: 1) the poptart incident 2) the bi-zygous joke 3) the time u flew down ej's stairs on an old mattress and it ripped and sent you flying halfway down the staircase bc it snagged on a thumbtack that YOU dropped earlier that day 4) proposed to nini first semester with a candy bracelet and she said no bc we eloped 5) the time u pulled up the wrong powerpoint in psychology and it was just a bunch of slides of obama

irl-merida: I'M IN TEARS AT THE LAST ONE

dancingqueen: he entitled it "gone too soon <3 obunga" and it had 37 slides

nini: i remember that unfortunately,, the dark ages still haunt me

bibibi: sorry gona but your point is mute!! none of those things make me an idiot. do they make me interesting? yes. but NOT an idio.

dancingqueen: "idio"

nini: baby....,,, it's "your point is moot", not "your point is mute".,,,

bibibi: dammit. 

irl-merida: EJ's going back upstairs & he stubbed his toe on the third step & he just screamed like a six year old girl I--

dancingqueen: GOD I just want to SLEEP but this house is always in fucking chaos because of EJ

nini: are ej's parents just Never Home this is concerning--

irl-merida: They're on a really long business trip now.

dancingqueen: "business trip" is code for "rich selfish asshole vacation at our secluded beach house to wait out the virus"

nini: damn

ej: Just got upstairs & my phone was going off so I felt the need to clarify that 1) I eat what I WANT on quarantine OKAY and 2) That shit hurted and I don't want to hear ANY criticism on it

bibibi: hey do you take polite critique?

ej: No. 

dancingqueen: richard got shut Down

bibibi: hey gona do u have a consistent typing style bc sometimes u use caps & proper punctuation and other times u don't & that shit stresses me out,,, 

ej: ^^Retweet actually, please stop with the fluctuation!!

irl-merida: Does he MEAN to keep calling her "Gona"?? Like is it a joke or is he just making the same weird typo over & over???

bibibi: i said it once on accident & it stuck :') 

nini: for once i agree with ej. love u wifey but we need CONSISTENCY!

ej: "For once" wow okay... ouch?? 

nini: HGJSKS WAIT NO,, 

dancingqueen: no....,,,,,, i will Type However the Fuck i Want! 

dancingqueen: No one Can stop me!!!!!!! Bitch

bibibi: please stop :'( 

dancingqueen: Fine.

irl-merida: Does Gina Porter is whipped?

ej: HHH ASHLYN??? 

nini: NOOOO

bibibi: gina :O

dancingqueen: not whipped, just too lazy to keep typing erratically :/ sorry ricky

bibibi: thank GOD

dancingqueen: what the FUCK did you just say?!!!

bibibi: UM ,,?,,,,,!!! AAAAAAAA

nini: not to interrupt this Moment,, but should i cut my own bangs? feelin' spontaneous bc of quarantine and i don't know if future me will be happy with present me for doing this...

bibibi: YES

ej: NO

nini: .......i was mainly asking kourtney

irl-merida: I'M LAUGHING GSHSHSJ EJ WHY

kween: go for it, girl!!! 

clifford: ej said nini rights revoked!

ej: NO!!! I just mean,,, I love her hair just as it is! 

nini: awww baby :') <3

bibibi: do whatever u want babe but you'd look adorable w bangs <333

prankster: ricky passed the Supportive Boyfriend Check!!!

bibibi: AAA THANK YOU SEB!!!

nini: guys,,, i'm gonna do it

ej: OH

bibibi: YESYESYES

irl-merida: We're witnessing a historic event!! Forget COVID19, Nini cutting her hair is peak news!!!

bibibi: someone call the washington post,,,, after 17 years of Not Cutting Her Own Hair,,,,,,, nini finally breaks her strict moral code of only getting her hair cut by hair cutting people 

ej: "Hair cutting people" I'm in love with an idiot

bibibi: ur in LOVE with me?!

dancingqueen: I'M--

nini: haircut.jpg

dancingqueen: THAT'S MY WIFE!!! OMG YOU LOOK SO GOOD NINI

bibibi: I LOVE YOU SM YOU LOOK GORGEOUS

bibibi: HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!!

ej: I-- Okay yeah maybe I do  
like girls with bangs?? W o w

irl-merida: Nini ur turning me gay please stop; you look so pretty!! 

nini: THANK YOU GUYS <3 time to go show the moms & shatter their reality!! 

bibibi: that's my girl!

ej: ^^ Ily <3 You look adorable they'll love it! 

dancingqueen: soft ej finally makes an entrance

choreographyking: NINI CUT HER HAIR?!

choreographyking: IT LOOKS SO GOODDD POP OFF SIS

bibibi: every day we stray further from god's light

clifford: ^^me when ricky called me at 7 pm yesterday and said "good morning" 

ej: Ricky!!

dancingqueen: i'm updating the Reasons Ricky Is An Idiot list as we speak ty big red for the content!

bibibi: MY SLEEP SCHEDULE IS A TAD OFF OKAY

dancingqueen: "A tad" I'm losing my shit Rochard

bibibi: shut up gona >:(

irl-merida: Ricky waking up at 7pm thinking it's morning has the same energy as EJ calling his shredded-cheese-at-one-a.m. ritual "dark lunch" 

ej: STOP EXPOSING ME ASHLYN

irl-merida: Never. It's what you deserve.

nini: they liked it!!! :') also can we circle back to ricky going "ur in LOVE with me?!" bc it sent meee

bibibi: HHHKSJNKD

dancingqueen: ricky- (is in a committed & loving relationship w ej, who tells him he loves him every day in this stupid group chat)

also ricky- wait you love me?!

bibibi: HEY HEY HEY

bibibi: loving someone and being In Love with someone are two very different things!!! 

ej: Actually, that's fair.

ej: So just to clarify: yes, of course I'm in love with you. 

bibibi: HHHHH 

nini: aww i love y'all <333

ej: And Nini!! Both of you. Yep. 

irl-merida: Hey please stop Emoting.

ej: Shit sorry, I forgot. 

ej: I guess you guys are okay.

bibibi: HHNSGS I LOVE U SM

ej: K.

bibibi: HHSNSHSJ??!!

nini: i actually yelled & my moms thought i hurt myself lmaooo ej why

dancingqueen: soft ej died so fast :'( gone too soon

ej: Obunga

bibibi: STOP MOCKING ME I WAS HEARTBROKEM

irl-merida: ....

bibibi: ashhh pls don't ur the only friend i have left--

irl-merida: "Heartbrokem",,,

bibibi: DAMMIT ASHLYN


End file.
